Week 11: Jesus, I Have My Doubts

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For God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

How long will all of you attack a man

to batter him,

like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?

They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.

They take pleasure in falsehood.

They bless with their mouths,

but inwardly they curse.        Selah

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge for us.        Selah

Those of low estate are but a breath;

those of high estate are a delusion;

in the balances they go up;

They are together lighter than a breath.

Put no trust in extortion;

set no vain hopes on robbery;

if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

Once God has spoken;

twice have I heard this:

that power belongs to God,

and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.

For you will render to a man

according to his work.

Psalm 62 (ESV)

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This week, we join with our brothers and sisters from all sorts of traditions in celebration and remembrance. Together with our Jewish friends, we celebrate Purim, remembering the Lord’s deliverance of the Jews from the hands of Persia. With our fellow Christians from more liturgical traditions, we are in the season of Lent, in which we remember and partake in Christ’s suffering in life and in death.

As we join hearts and hands, let us remember and meditate through Psalm 62, and think about what faith truly means.

Many think of faith as a currency of spirituality. If we do more things that God wants us to do, we gain faith, and we lose faith every time we sin. Others think of faith as emotional willpower. People with strong faith are those who are able to go through life’s difficulties without any emotional distress, whereas those with weak faith will feel sadness or anger. Still others think of faith as an escape from real life. The stronger one’s faith is, the more he will be able to ignore the problems going on around him, while those with poor faith cannot escape the harsh realities around them.

These abovementioned views of faith are tragically mistaken. They may sound pragmatic, but they are actually incomplete, and escapist in nature. Truly, anyone who has lived life in this world knows that there are things we cannot ignore! We cannot simply hold on to an abstract “faith” when there are loved ones dying, and we see entire social classes or ethnicities subjected to hate. We cannot insist solely on strong willpower, when our world seems to be falling apart.

Praise the Lord, He knows what real life is like! He gives us a faith that does not escape emotions and circumstances, but transcends them! Faith allows us to feel pain, yet continue to believe.  Faith allows us to feel hate, yet choose to love. Faith allows us to feel hopeless, yet be filled with hope.

After all, the psalmist does not deny the brokenness of his situation, but entrusts it all to God. This is true faith: not blindness, but transcendent belief.

Let us be like Esther and the Jews in captivity, hoping against hope that God is with them still. Let us be like Jesus on the path to Calvary, feeling every insult and every lash of the whip, yet never losing sight of His mission and His Father.

In our life, we will have pain. In our life, we will have sorrow. In our life, we will have doubts. But take heart, Jesus knows! Sit with God, like Jesus did in the garden, and pour out your doubts before Him.

He will reach you there in the silence.